Finding Your Life Purpose as a Nonprofit Leader

Tim Barnes: 0:07

Welcome to episode 97 of the practice of non-profit leadership. I'm Tim Barnes.

Nathan Ruby: 0:14

And I'm Nathan Ruby.

Tim Barnes: 0:16

Well, Nathan, how are you doing today?

Nathan Ruby: 0:18

Well, you know what, tim, I am doing. Okay, it is getting to be the end of the week and that means the weekend is right around the corner. And you know, tim, I love my job. I love my work, I love what I do, but I also get excited about the weekend, so I'm pretty excited.

Tim Barnes: 0:36

Well, weekends are good, good to take a breath and refresh and relax, and if you can do it, that's awesome, that's great. Well, I am kind of excited about the topic we're going to talk about today and I don't know if those of you that listen regularly whether you've kind of been paying attention here, but particularly over this North American summer, we've kind of jumped around a bit and have tried to put more into our podcast around leadership development, to have the practicalities of running a nonprofit, like finance and fundraising and project development. All these kind of things are really important, but it really depends on who you as a leader are and we've tried to really focus on that aspect of leadership development and we're going to move in that direction again today. So, nathan, maybe you can give us a little bit of an idea. What are we going to cover today?

Nathan Ruby: 1:31

Yeah. So today we are going to cover why it's important to identify your life purpose, and doing this is really key for executive directors and especially executive directors of smaller nonprofits, because it is so easy for your own purpose in life to get overshadowed by the vision and mission of the organization. Now you might be saying, well, wait a minute, Nathan, that's not bad. I mean, I'm running this organization and I love my work and I'm passionate about what I do, and so why wouldn't that be my life's purpose?

Tim Barnes: 2:12

Sometimes yeah, it is, I think, but I might say that with a little bit of hesitation To be successful as an executive director, we often find ourselves totally immersed in this job, so much so that sometimes we lose who we are and even what brings joy to our lives outside of what we do for a profession.

Nathan Ruby: 2:34

Yeah, and the purpose of today's show is not to define for you what your purpose is, but it's to give you a little nudge to help you start thinking about it. And we won't go through the entire process of defining your life's purpose. That's another episode and probably more than one episode, tim, but what we are trying to do today is to just get you to start thinking about what your purpose might be and move in in that direction. Now, last episode, we did a thing called TLDL and that was Too Long, didn't Listen. That's the texting acronym and we got some really positive feedback from that. So we're going to do that again this week. And so the TLDL for this week's episode is just because you lead a nonprofit does not automatically mean that your life's purpose is identified with the vision and mission of that organization. You really need to do the work and identify your own purpose. So, tim, why don't you start us off with a definition of what we mean when we say life purpose?

Tim Barnes: 3:45

The basic definition of life purpose refers to a person's unique reason for being kind of their ultimate goal or calling in life. It's not necessarily a fixed destination but really more rather a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Find one's life purpose can bring a sense of direction and fulfillment, and we believe it's important for individuals to take the time to reflect on their experiences and their values and their passions to uncover that purpose.

Nathan Ruby: 4:17

Yeah, and Tim, I know in my own experience and you probably have maybe have experienced this as well and when you're at a dinner party or you're out meeting people you've never met before and pretty much you could guarantee there's going to be at some point the question of what do you do for a living? Over the years I have been in the nonprofit world for I used to know what this was right off the top of my head, Tim 25 plus years. So I've been saying for 25 plus years that this nonprofit or that nonprofit, and this is what I do and I always get a very positive response of oh, that must be so wonderful and oh, that must be such a calling and oh, that must be so wonderful to be able to do that. And it is. It is, Tim, it has been a. My work career has been a blessing and has made an impact in the world and, yes, there's no question it has. But every time, every time it happens, Tim, as I'm, as I'm going on in the conversation, my head always goes to well, yeah, but I'm trying to make payroll next week and you know there's a hole in the roof and I've got a, you know, a load of supply stuck along the road somewhere and all of those things that that are work related, that, while it is part of mission, it is part of, can very well be part of calling. It's also a job and it's work, and sometimes I have a hard time connecting those dots, Tim.

Tim Barnes: 5:55

Yeah, I mean, I understand that as well and I'll probably share a little bit more of my experience as we go further into the podcast. But sometimes, sometimes being executive director of of a nonprofit really fits exactly your purpose and and. But sometimes it is more of just a job I'm showing up to and I'm bringing my skills and my gifts towards something. But you know, let's talk about the fact that you know how does leading a nonprofit fit with your life purpose?

Nathan Ruby: 6:23

You bet All right. So we've got four things we're going to talk about today, tim. This one is your life purpose is unique to you, so it's not something that could be found by copying copying what others are trying to do or by following a specific formula. And it's interesting on, I did one of the social media. I'm on LinkedIn. I also am a lurker on Twitter. I don't I hardly ever engage in conversation. There's enough, you know. There's enough conversation on Twitter without me, tim, and there's always those people out there, whatever the topic that are. You know, oh, you have to do it this way, you have to do it that way. This is the you know three steps to world peace and love for everyone. And it is. But that's not the way life purpose works. You can't follow somebody else's four steps to get there. Yes, there are some, some things that will help and yes, there's maybe some idea starters, but life purpose is unique to you and you can't find that from somebody else.

Tim Barnes: 7:36

I think you're exactly right. We look for those cookie cutter. Hey, just do these one, two, three things and everything's great. You know, although we a lot of times in our podcast go well, here's one, here's two or three, we do that all the time. Tim, we do. We're not saying you know, this is a cookie cutter thing. It's like we're putting some things out there and, to be honest with you, and maybe you guys will turn off right now, but great.

Nathan Ruby: 8:02

Good, good job Tim.

Tim Barnes: 8:03

Yeah, sorry, but there is work. There is work to find out. It takes some time to think about it is. It does take some time to talk to other people and see what people see in you, but there there is a uniqueness you bring to this this life, and it's, I think it's on to us that we kind of work on discovering that and so not just taking what everybody says, but really doing the work to find some of that out.

Nathan Ruby: 8:27

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So number two is for life purposes. What are you really good at? And you know things that sometimes things that we're really good at are not necessarily life purpose, or maybe you don't get an opportunity to do that. So back before I got into the into the nonprofit world, I worked for my family's trucking company, is my dad and myself, my mom and my sisters, and my mom and dad and I were the primary drivers of the company and we were a ran 48 States and Canada. We had 16 trucks and this was a pre pre-techno well, I won't say pre-technology, but pre-internet technology was just call it that. And so I ran the dispatch office and up on the wall in the dispatch office I had 16 clipboards, one clipboard for each truck. I had a map of the 48 States on the other wall and I had a fax machine. That was it. That was technology for us. Tim was fax machine.

Tim Barnes: 9:39

I gotta say for some people this thing you're speaking a foreign language, but that's okay Go ahead.

Nathan Ruby: 9:44

Yeah, no kidding, but I could sit. I was really good at it, tim. I could stand in front of my desk. Usually I stood up and I could look at those trucks and the driver that was in them. And this driver needed to be home this weekend. That driver needed to be home by Thursday and I could vision where I needed these things to be. I knew what our loads were and I could make it come together week after week after week. And one day I stood there and I was looking at the map, I was looking at the clipboards and I thought to myself this is like the coolest thing ever. How lucky am I to get to do this? And I was good at it. But ultimately and this is a story that's way too long to tell we had to sell the company and get out, because it was not necessarily a healthy lifestyle for a family, because, even though I was in the dispatch office, if we had a driver called in sick, I was first one in the truck and so my bag was always packed and Tuesday at eight o'clock, driver would call and say I can't go, I'm in the truck and I'm gone, and that just didn't work, and there was a long time. I don't think back then I really thought of it as life purpose. But as I think back on it now, that is what I thought my life purpose was going to be, but it turned out that it wasn't. It just didn't go that way. So I think life purpose does typically revolve around things that you're really good at. I think that's that and enjoy to do. That's kind of a signal, but sometimes life throws you a curveball.

Tim Barnes: 11:36

Well, you know, I was thinking about my own story as well. So now I'm involved in a leadership team of an organization that focuses on refugees and it's incredible work and fulfilling and challenging all the same time. But I wouldn't say as I came to this organization, that I thought in my mind, wow, refugees are my purpose in life. But what I why I was drawn to the organization was I was. I was following a friend who had the vision, who had the passion, who refugees are his life. But I saw where I was good, that I could come along and help this organization fulfill its purpose and its mission. I could bring my skills, I could help think through the strategy of where we're going and and bring some of my experience there. So it wasn't that, you know, I wasn't joining this organization because I was, because the purpose of my life was the purpose of the organization, but it was because I could come alongside and use my skills and abilities. There were much more of my purpose than for an actual thing. Does that make sense, nathan? Yeah absolutely.

Nathan Ruby: 12:50

And I think what's interesting, and especially in your situation, tam, is I'm sure there's one or two people in the world that could have come along and done as good a job as you did with your organization, but I don't know who they are. I mean you, you, you were the right person at the right time and you know your organization has been blessed many times over for your skills and your talents that you brought, that complimented, you know the, the executive director, and it was. It was you know the, the story, maybe not the story, but the impact that you've brought has has impacted hundreds of thousands of people. It's a great story. But now the question is, tim, is now that you, you know, yes, it's my work and yes, I'm good at it and yes, I've made an impact in the world, then you kind of fall in that same category of well, okay, my purpose is probably outside of my work at the moment. So what is that? I'm?

Tim Barnes: 13:51

not going to put you on the spot but yeah, I'm not sure I can answer that at the moment, but whether I want to answer that question. But I but let me just say also I mean I am passionate about people who've been displaced around the world now because I've I've been there. I know people. It's real, it's not statistics on a paper. I know them by their names and by their situations, so I can become passionate about it. But is that my life's purpose? I would necessarily say that.

Nathan Ruby: 14:27

Yeah, and it is interesting where win you and I feel kind of the same way about about my role in hady and what when you get to know the people, like you just said, and you know their names and you. It's not statistics, it's not a political sound bite on the six o'clock news. You know that changes the changes, the ball game, it changes things and it makes it real and personal. And that's where I think our best work years of my time and the people listening our best work comes when it's personal and that's pretty easy to be personal and what we do.

Tim Barnes: 15:08

It moves beyond just a job. Yeah, I think that's the key thing. I mean, anybody can lead. Do I say this? Anybody can lead a non-profit kind of.

Nathan Ruby: 15:20

What was the list of his podcast?

Tim Barnes: 15:22

yes, that's right, but to be effective and have impact, it needs to be more than a job. You need to be be bringing who you are To that situation.

Nathan Ruby: 15:33

in my opinion, if you're in an organization right now, trying to lead an organization that you're not a hundred percent Behind all in, you know this organization is the most important thing and you know right now in my life, in this, in the people it serves, in this community, in this town of this state, if it's not the most important one, then you're in the wrong place and you've got to find one. You've got to go find one that is that important to you that you think that way about. You'll never be a totally effective if you're half in or three quarters in.

Tim Barnes: 16:10

So we talked about the fact that our life purpose is unique, is unique to us as individuals, and we also need to be looking at what are we really good at? What really? You know when we step into something. That things happen, you know, but there's some other things to that would be good as we talk about life purpose yeah.

Nathan Ruby: 16:28

Another one is identifying core values and your life purpose. It is going to match up with your core values. And so what are the principles that guide your life? What are the things that are not negotiable? And once you've once you've identified those values, then you can think about how you can align your passions and strengths with those values. So an example of that is Tim and I both share a similar value in that we have, for the majority of our careers are our passion, and our interest is always lied in in the international Nonprofit space. Both of our careers, for the most part, have been serving organizations either based internationally or with us based in the US. But international operations, and that is just something unique to us, that is Important to us. And but then you, you go to my dad. I guess this is the second time I brought my family up into this today, tim. But hey, we are a family show, so that's okay. My dad does not share that. My dad's his passion or his core value is local and not even domestic. It's local. So to my dad, why would you, why would you leave town when there's so much work that needs to be done here? And so that's his value, which is different than than one of my values, and so you really got to identify what those are, because if you are really truly looking at core purpose, you've got to identify those values so that it aligns up, because if they're not, again it's not going to work.

Tim Barnes: 18:19

You begin to invalidate those things that you hold dearly, and I Don't think you can be effective if you're in a place where you are invalidating your core, your core values and and to go back to this illustration with your dad and with us both of those those things are okay. It's understanding who you are and what kind of impact you you're going to have. The key is that you actually maybe speak that and lean in to those things.

Nathan Ruby: 18:51

Absolutely, absolutely. Next one is your purpose can evolve over time, and this is the following your purpose, identify your purpose and find is is really a journey. It's not a one and done, and life changes. You change and what you're passionate about today may not be the same as what you are passionate about in a few years. And because we're human beings and we live in a dynamically changing time and we grow and we learn and things are never the same. I could think back a few years ago when our kids were in junior high and high school and my wife was working on a master's degree. I was traveling a lot, I was gone a lot and at that time both my wife's life purpose and my life purpose was make it through the day. That was it. If we could get through the day, we felt that was a win and we would worry about tomorrow, tomorrow and well, and then, of course I guess I need to add it if we had the bills paid at the end of the month, that was like we went and got ice cream for that. That was a big celebration. So we made it through the day, we made it through the week. Bills are paid, that's it. That's all we could take on at that time. But now that's not the case. We, our kids, are our adults, and I don't have to parent day to day, every day, and so now I'm still parenting, but not every minute of the day. And so, anyway, I'm just saying now we've got some bandwidth, both of us, and so we're kind of going through this exercise ourselves of, okay, what does it look like for us individually and us together? What does it look like the next six months to a year, to three years? And I don't have an answer for that, tim, but we're trying to figure that out at the moment.

Tim Barnes: 20:58

Well, I think when you consider life purpose, it's also important to think about what season are you in as well and how that life purpose is flowing out of that season. Different when you have small kids, different when you have adult kids. All kinds of things impact this season that we're in. Even in age, you're like you know, if you're just starting out and you're discovering your life purpose, you know you can try a lot of things and kind of see where you are as you go through your time and even as you get later in life, you know, maybe on the back nine of the golf course, you're like you're thinking, okay, how's my life purpose going to continue to carry on, or how can I solidify this? So there's a number of things to consider, but season of life is important to consider in that discussion.

Nathan Ruby: 21:45

So, and I think, finally, the last thing we have is just don't be too hard on yourself if you haven't found your purpose yet. It's a process and it takes time and it is a some I don't know if trial and error is the right word, but there may be some things out there that would be really interesting and exciting for you to pursue, but you don't even maybe know where they're at. And you know, for me, one of the things that have just come up I am fascinated by this whole artificial intelligence, the whole AI thing, and I am studying it and I'm on, I've done some webinars on it, and it is something that is really interesting, interesting to me, and what? Six months ago, I mean, I knew it was out there, but but six months ago it was irrelevant to my life, and now it's something that I'm really, I'm really interested in. So you just if you don't know what that is, or you've never even spent a second thinking about this, that's okay. You just start and work through it and overtime, usually it will, it will present itself over time.

Tim Barnes: 23:06

Why I think I take away from that to nathan try things, you know, give it a shot, kind of test, and see what really connects with your heart, what connects with your gifts and abilities. So don't be afraid To try certain things and don't be too hard. If it's like, wow, that didn't work, you know, that's not me, well that's cool, but it's you.

Nathan Ruby: 23:27

I think you solidify that purpose in your life over time as you try to have different experiences and test things out you know, one thing I was thinking, tim, as we've been talking through this today, is the difference between executive directors and founders. And I think if you are a founder of an organization and I think back to the, to the founders that that I've worked with over the years, which has been several, they were, their life purpose was wrapped into this nonprofit that they created, and a lot of them, you know, blood, sweat and tears is not Is, it doesn't define it. You know it's blood, sweat, tears, money, relationships. I've seen founders with burned out relationships because they were so one focused On this organization that they were building from scratch, and so I think that is a. I just I've seen a difference between founders and then executive directors who come into an organization you know your first, second, third, fourth executive director and, just like you were talking to him, they could become passionate about the vision and mission and they can love the people that they're serving and the people they work with, but it's not as deeply ingrained purpose as what the founder was. So doesn't make them any less effective, it's just different.

Tim Barnes: 25:00

I think our desire, even just having this conversation today, anything is to get, to get people to think and consider where are you, what is your life purpose, what's going on in your life, and we're not trying to say, hey, take these four steps and it will tell you exactly what's going on. And we try to share out of our own lives the journeys that we've been on. Hopefully we've been able to help. One of the things we're going to do is both of us, both Nathan and I, are on linked in kind of a place where we're where we show up and if you'd like to continue the conversation, maybe you have some comments hit us up on linked and we'd like to continue to talk about this. Maybe some questions About something, what we've said that will definitely put our contacts in the show notes to linked in Nathan is there. Can you kind of summarize what we're talking about?

Nathan Ruby: 25:53

let me wrap this up, I'm alright. So we're talking today about purpose, and here's why it's important. Not identifying your purpose in life puts you on the road to burnout Burnout in life, burnout in relationships and burnout in your job. If you're lucky, maybe your purpose in life does in fact line up with your job, and if it does, that's awesome. That's fabulous. But for most people, they will find that their core purpose in life does in fact lie outside of their chosen profession. It is worth the time and effort to work through what your core purpose in your life is. It will provide you a happier and more fulfilling life, for you and the people you love.

Tim Barnes: 26:42

Well, thanks for listening today and we'd love to hear from you. If you want to get involved in conversation with us, hit us up on linked in, send us an email or contact us in the show notes. We'd love to walk the journey with you. So that's all for today, until next time.